Losing people hurts.
No, I’m not only talking about death, although that of course is the most extreme and sadly a very common example when thinking of loss.
And no, I’m not really talking about breaking up with a romantic partner either, although that is also a very common loss and more close to my thoughts right now.
What I meant to say is that losing friends hurts.
Not in the way of death and of the breaking of a romantic bond but no less hurtful for that.
It can be way more subtle, you drift apart for years until you realize that the person you have in front of you share all the mannerisms and memories with the person you once knew. But like a hollow doppelganger, they just aren’t that friend anymore.
Personal growth, experiences unshared and choices you don’t have access to have stolen them away down a path you can not follow on.
This feeling, although false as you both have drifted, can be devastating.
And I think it can go both ways. Sometimes you can meet up with someone and you realize that they haven’t changed that much, they are still very much like that friend you knew. Not that they haven’t grown. Just that their trajectory may have changed changed them less in those areas that you know to look at. But you have changed. Maybe for the better, maybe for worse, almost certainly both. And you just, don’t find them interesting anymore. Their quirks, beliefs and mannerisms may irritate you now, or at best bore you.
I think both times can be equally hurtful in a way.
I don’t know if there is a point to this.