Geoffrey “Jeff” Horne rose from his bed, his clothes rumpled from having been slept in and curiously his feet in a set of high leather boots he hadn’t been aware that he owned. He fumbled to turn of his mobiles insistent play of the Marimba cover of the classical Zelda theme that historical Jeff had thought was hilarious as a wakeup signal.
Present day Jeff cursed his earlier self for a sadistic fool when he finally managed to turn of the blasted thing. His relief was short lived and he just managed to snatch up his dustbin before he was violently sick all over the old receipts, paper napkins and the odd crust of a forgotten toast that all had inhabited it.
He tried to recall the previous night but the memories from that whole day was a vague set of blurred images seen through the foggy lense of the most intense hangover he had ever experienced. Once done being sick Jeff looked up from his hunched over state and realised that the reason for the mobile being hard to turn of was due to the screen having shattered sometime during the night.
Groaning Jeff rose from where he sat and he saw a note, clearly in his own handwriting on stuck to his bedroom door.
“Remeber you hanDsomE deviL, BLOodpakt bLoodPacht, PACT, the swrord choose you”
He took down the almost illegible note and put it in the pocket of his jeans. He heard a crash from his living room and was met by a larper dressed in a really convincing fae costume. “Must have been hell sleeping with all that makeup on” Jeff thought as the person turned their head towards him.
“Ohh, good you are up” The fae larper said in a high voice that was both androgynous and stiff, “Are you ready for our quest? Do you have the sword?”
Jeff blinked, then went up to his fridge without a word and poured himself a glass of juice. “Umm, not to be an ass but I don’t know who you are, were we out drinking?” Jeff had realised long ago that it was easiest sometimes just to be out in the open with these questions.
“Yes my liege, you pulled the sacred sword from the lake after what I believe is called a drunken dare, now I am your servant until the quest is done.”
Jeff stared at larper and then realized that their legs bent the wrong way, and that they had hoofs rather than feet. He went back into his bedroom and tucked in halfway under his bed was indeed a magnificent sword in a ornate sheth.
Head pounding, he went out into the living room. “Hey you, whatever your name is, What is this quest?”
“Well sire, to be deserving of the great sword Excalibur you must have an equally great quest, I proposed the holy grail as is tradition but you called it, and I quote ‘A useless Mcguffin’ and said that ‘any true knight would go for the golden apple’, but the first step is to assemble your companions and knights.”
“Great, get me an aspirin and let’s get going with that”