Slow Motion Roller Coaster

the seltbelt clicks me into place. The seat secure, arms wrapped around the straps, legs loose. The machinary tick tocks us towards the dip. Over in 60 seconds. The view peaks and I am pulled forward, backwards, roundwards, inwards, praying to the gods that the adrenaline lasts forever.

“freeze, go back a bit, slow the frame rate. Ok…you can play it.”

I reach the last moment of expectation, its a glimpse long enough to get recalled as I please. I see my city, the amusement park is close to my home and the neighbourhood I look at isnt pretty, but I am proud because its of me, like my thighs and the huntress in my voice. Still, perhaps a bit drab…the thought isnt allowed a moment more, because now things speed past me, the scenary is a blur, my body slidding slightly and hopelessly in the seat. My heart races, I think I was just upside down, I think im a little scared, wait is it excitement, how did people even built this, oh no its nearly over, focus on enjoying it, ok its done.

“ok, now go back again, this time zoom in on the mouth…ok drop the speed, lift the song…just for the edit…yeah like that… ok, show me.”

My mouth trembles, I’m not sure where to put it. I am not thinking about it, the smile is wild, stretched, i breathe in deeply, i hold my breath, i dont notice, i let out a howl, i giggle to myself, im open, i breath deeply, the smile curves to the side, my face is relaxed, the smile drops into a closed upturn. i called to the person next to me

“wanna go again?”

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" i dont think we have it yet…dont focus on your experience, lets look at some of the details, indulge, its not about how much we slow it down, its about how much we can take in…i’ll start it from the beginning…relax, we have time."

The queue snaked round corners, staying in the lines, listening to the signs, finding comradery in the wait, we learnt the people around us, further ahead and behind, the tail always stretching out further and further until we know we had left the beginning, having lost sight. We knew where we stood and moved in unison, slithering towards our turn at the dragon’s head, waiting to catch alight from our bellies as we drew breathe.

Just before my turn, I wonder where I will land. Which seat will determine my adventure. The back is the fastest because you get pulled forward by the force, the front is free from obstacle or safety placebos. The middle feels secure, and the ride is good so it doesn’t matter. Left or right of the twenty pairs of seats determine your view. Remember where the camera is (“remember where the camera is”) for the photo after. Remember not to look scared, to pose, to show off your cool.

I slide into the front seat. I’m lucky, I can feel it. I am unashamed of my place. I get locked in early and then wait for the rest of the group. Slowly, row by row, the safety team checks out buckles are right, our bodies secure. They give us the rules, some of us listen intently, some of us dont pay any attention. They scream in tones they have being taught, so that they dont strain their voices, so that they are audible, so that they can do it again, so that we get hyped each time.

In front of me there is expanse. No seat ahead of my, my destiny in fully view. Each clink of the slow uphill pushes me further back into the cushioning, we are at a 45 degree angle moving towards the sky. The rails that we are attached to from above offers a leading glance of the journey. Looking down, my legs hang above an amusement park, the snaking line and a couple of meters of air. Wandering my eye away, towards my home, the land looks grey and dry, I check for landmarks, I measure where my home is, I turn to the mountain. The eternal lone laying Goddess, unamused by my many attempts at her attention. Seeminly unperturbed by her grand beauty and wisdom, she pulls me from my chest and asks me to show myself, in hopes of maybe featuring in her dream. My eye widing to the scope of my city, to the yellow of the nearby fields, to the industria around the houses, the containers lie close by. I reach the tip of the reptile’s tongue.

The speed builds, we curve with swift precision, the turn reaching down slowly and then with determination, we dip deep enough to wonder if our feet will reach the roof of a hotdog stand. We don’t and I’d watched it enough times to know that we wouldnt, but the question if we would, spreads just beneath my skin and sizzle with desire.

Up next is the loop, we take it effortlessly, the curl is playful and forceful and smooth. The brief moment my legs are above my head, and im pushed downwards, the straps shudder and I wonder for my life, if they will loosen, if I will be the one to fall and I am held, I am not let go, I am so safe, I stetch my legs and arms and howl danergously.

My body burns with power, with freedom
I want it faster.

'lets take a break for now, we need to find the angles are unworded…but we are getting there."