I’m afraid to put this into words because I’m afraid of what it means going forward. I’m afraid of losing you. Although I thought I’ve been in love before, I never knew the meaning of the word until we crossed paths. I think I sensed a spark between us when we first met at that bar in Spain. I know I tried to ignore it, but I also quickly concluded that it wasn’t just the drugs and alcohol messing with my mind. That’s why I rushed to the airport to tell you my goodbye before you left. It was at that moment that I realised I might never see you again and the thought of that tore my heart in half.
Now, two years later, I slowly see our lives drifting apart and despite my best efforts, I just can’t see a future without you. Life’s been tough for both of us, no doubt, but I hope that we will end up together at the end of it all. What I’m trying to say, I guess, is that things have come to a dead-end and I have to leave. All I ask of you is to please never forget me and forgive me for all my wrongdoings that have led to this.
Know that no matter what, I will always love you, and I hope we will find each other again some day. I wish you nothing but the best, even if it’s not with me.
I walked towards the city at a casual pace, trying to look like just another girl walking around town. Although I was dying to get home as quickly as possible to examine the map, I knew that wasn’t the smartest decision. As the guy said, “They might be watching us.”
I made a pitstop at another bar and had a quick drink while looking out the window. So far, it looked like no one was following me, but I couldn’t be too careful. I continued to hop between boutiques and bars for another hour, looking over my shoulder without literally doing so. Two hours after the meeting, I concluded that I was safe.
When I got home, I lit the candle by my window. That was the sign me and Casey agreed to. If all went as planned, he would be here in 10 minutes or less. I took out the map from my bag but was afraid to open it alone. What if it was fake? What if it would be in some complicated encryption we’d never understand? I started at the jump drive for what felt like an eternity when I finally heard a knock.
I guess I was out of it because I completely forgot to look into the peephole before opening the door. I fell into a slight stupor before finally croaking out, “…what are you doing here?”