A bestiary by association

Goblins are moss-covered gnomes.
Gnomes are shrunken elders, the dead old men and women of the mountain wearing their corpse-skin, knit tight over a tiny ghost.
A ghost is a softer ghoul.
A ghoul is a bitter whisperer, the sense of shambling, as though words had a gait.
A witch is a speaker of curses, in touch with ghoulish staggering phrases, the waltz of promises, the blood-curling gallop of song.
A wizard is a writer of curses.
Banshees are makers of sound without language, their keening like footsteps, without even meaning to make an imaginary body.

And this is what we call supernatural teamwork
From beyond the grave!!
Slightly behind the grave

As a tight knit group, they have been disrespecting you

This is why your life is so sour

That rustling in the bushes is witches
Playing tinny music on their phones
As they know

What are you going to do about it?!

Here is my card
You will need my help
When you decide

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Wizards often keep banshees in bottles on their writing desks, for inspiration purposes, and also because wizards often have extremely poor risk management skills. It’s enough to make someone want to scream.

Witches won’t be caught dead in a wizard’s tower, although they sometimes are. They consider wizards all arcane knowledge, sitting in their towers looking down upon creation, their mental brilliance eclipsing any mediocre investment of heart into their craft. Magic is about feeling connected to something greater, not about the crass manipulation of symbols.

Ghouls on the other hand, they know how to slow down and not speak so fast. In fact they often don’t speak at all, a quality that the witches admire. It gets lonely out there in the forest when one only meets ones coven four times a year, and it’s a misunderstood stereotype that just because witches are generally introverted that they do not enjoy good company. Especially company that dances the Shamble so well.

It takes quite a few Shambles for a ghoul to graduate to ghost. It’s the ultimate slow-cooking: not done until the meat falls off the bones. The softness of ghosts is a softness of perception. One has to have keen sensibilities (or good mushrooms) to become aware of their presence. But when one does, they often have good stories to share.

And if one happens upon the rare gnomish heating room, which are hidden under peat and only happen once every 51 years, there is between ghosts and gnomes a jolly exchange of stories the scope of which stretch back to the really really olden days when the mountains spoke.

Should one desire to find such a heating room, the door will be blocked by a goblin, hidden by its mossy hair. Do not attempt to fight the goblin, you may beat one but there are always others. Mushrooms or bottled banshees are a suitable gift.